so it’s national adoption month. Yay!..only not. I keep stumbling across ways to celebrate adoption month
But what about those of us who find nothing to celebrate in adoption? What about those of us for whom adoption just equates with grief and loss? what about those of us who want adoption stopped? how do we negotiate this month?
I came up with some things that might help us deal with it.
Sign up to National Blog Posting Month and blog your feelings around adoption every day for a month
Light a candle for someone or something you lost through adoption
Make a collage
Raise money for a family preservation charity
Cry
Prite a letter to someone adoption separated you from
Volunteer for a charity that mentors/supports families at risk of family breakdown
plant a rose
Take a whole day out of your life to pamper yourself in
Buy yourself a book on dealing with adoption issues
Any one got any other Ideas?
Mirah and readers over at Family preservation advocacy are coming up with more suggestions.
Communities don't get built... 
November 2, 2009 at 4:52 pm
LOVE IT! Will Join you and spread the word!
ADD: Write a letter to your congressperson, senator and representatives and tll them to stop increasing the adoption tax benefit every year that helps increase coercive exploitive adoptions and even supports baby brokers, child traffickers, flesh peddlers and KIDNAPPERS, and leaves behind the children languishing in orphanages and foster care it purports to be helping.
For more information:
familypreservation.blogspot.com/…/fight-proposed-
adoption-tax-credit.html
November 2, 2009 at 11:12 pm
I don’t’ know about the tax credit and I cant really fight it because I’m not in the US but thanks for the info.
I’m not even a fan of adoption for children in orphanages and foster care to be honest, I still think there are better ways to support and love them. (starting of course with giving their families the support they need so they don’t end up there in the first place.)
November 2, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Your idea – with fuil credit to you – is picking up speed at:
http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2009/11/not-feeling-
celebratory-this-november.html
or: http://tinyurl.com/notadopt
November 3, 2009 at 4:27 am
AnonAdoptee – I fully agree that adoption should be a last resort after every effort to keep a family intact is exhausted …
The US tax benefit USES foster kids as pawns, and there are 129,000 (of the 1/2 M kids in US foster care) who COULD be adopted because they cannot be reunified with parents who have been deemed – rightly or wrongly – to be unfit. So…if they re going to give any tax benefit, they should AT LEAST limit it to the kids they USE to get the legislation passed.
Mirah Riben, author
The Stork Market: America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry
http://AdvocatePublications.com
November 6, 2009 at 3:47 am
Hello, I wanted to share my feature in Adoptive Families Magazine for National Adoption Month http://bit.ly/Second_Chances Would love to know comments. You can find me on my Mutts blog, or Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/deborahdash
November 8, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Here’s some more ideas:
Adoptees: let your adoptive family know how you feel about being adopted. I mean that. Adoptees are used to be cowering in the corner or not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings, but be real to yourself. This past March, while I sobbed in therapy, my counselor asked, “Does your mother know how you feel?”
Yes, she does. It’s been well-over 30 years since the beginning of my reunion and my mother has not acknowledged my pain. Only hers, and how I hurt her by participating in a reunion, or that I knew my siblings during my childhood and lied to my adoptive parents about it. Really? How could my adoptivemother twist the evil deeds around to make me out to be the one who lied? She and my adoptive father lied about my siblings,about my father, about my entire natural family being right within a five mile radius of our home. I was deliberately prevented from knowing my own siblings by my so-called “loving” adoptive parents.
So, adoptees, come right out and tell your adoptive parents and autns, uncles and cousins how you feel about being adotped and lied to. Lete them know how you feel. Don’t save it for the therapy sessions. Get right in the abusers faces and tell them what they did to you and the emotional trauma left in your soul because of adoption. Put the blame of pain right where it belongs.
Here’s another idea: Write to legislators and to the President to telll them that our birth certificates are legal lies. Falsified birth certificates should be made illegal because this is identity theft.
Please visit my blog at http://www.forbiddenfamily.com and join in discussions about birth certificates and anti adoption and anti gamete donation.
Glad I found your site!
Joan
November 9, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Heya,
I think adoptees should generally tell their adoptive parents how they feel but I think that’s really hard, partly because lots of adoptive parents manipulate what the adoptees say.
I personally don’t see my aparents so its a moot point for me.
The birth cert isn’t an issue fro me because I live in the UK and it works differently here, also I’ve always known who my first parents were
November 9, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Joan, RIGHT ON SISTER!!
I quoted you and expanded on your idea at:
http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2009/11/
speaking-truth-to-power.html