This is my post for the eighth Open Adoption Round table
The prompt for this one is:

Write about a blogger (or bloggers) who influenced your real-life open adoption, and how. It might be someone who became an offline friend who supports and challenges you. Or a writer who makes you uncomfortable, but gets you thinking. Maybe a blogger who doesn’t even know you are reading. Tell us about them and how they’ve affected you.

I have to come at this prompt sideways.There are no bloggers who influenced my open adoption because when it was happening the Internet was mostly a dream and I was still a child. There are bloggers who have been awesome to read and connect with from an adoptee perspective, but I haven’t found any other adoptees who are writing about having grown up in an open adoption. I think this is just because its really uncommon for adoptees my age to have had open adoptions.

I wrote in my previous post about open adoption of how uncomfortable i am writing about this issue but i think it’s important that I do. Maybe I need to be that voice, that blogger, who influences the way open adoptions are done, who gives support to the increasing number of adoptees who did grow up in open adoptions. I know I’m probably not the best voice to be writing on this issue, but maybe having read me and heard me other adoptee bloggers who grew up in open adoptions will feel more comfortable adding their voices, their thoughts on the subject to the blogosphere.

And I want people to know, open adoption is better than closed adoption but it doesn’t solve anything, it wont change the identity issues, the security issues, the abandonment issues that adoptees have. It doesn’t stop the cultural denigration of first families or the assumption that adoptive parents are better parents, better people and somehow more deserving than first parents.

But i also want people to know, despite all this I’m still glad I had an open adoption, I’m still glad I had some connection with my first family

I want people to feel free to ask me questions about it, all people, first parents, adoptive parents. adoptees, and I want them too know that despite my harsh sharp words about adoption, about adoptive parents, I will answer questions on this issue as openly, honestly and helpfully as I can.

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